Happy 2016 and MY New Years Resolution

31 December 2015 / By Stephan Thieringer

As I am sitting in one of my favorite coffee houses in Boston enjoying a reminder of European pastries, Linzer Torte and a cup of coffee with “Schlag”, that’s sweet whipped cream in the coffee – I start to reminisce about the year coming to an end. It’s that time of the year where we all know it’s the last day, the last morning and the last evening of this particular year.  Funny what the “last” does to us humans and how mundane things suddenly become – so important, intricate, delicate and significant to us.  On top of it today in Boston it’s not a last day of the year in terms of weather.  Roughly 55 degrees Fahrenheit and beautiful sunshine.  Beautiful but NOT December 31st weather.
I start reminding myself of memories of the “almost over” year and fall into the thoughts of past gone by and things I could have dome better and more and not just different. We tend to become self critical I think and rather than wonder why we did make certain choices and awaken our own curiosity around the events and our own actions, we tend to become appallingly judgmental – I do at least and so I judge about all the things I did, didn’t do, did wrong and should have done differently, more of…you get the just of it.  And I can start beating myself up about it over and over and find new topics and events, actions and reasons why I need to do that to myself.  The old “not enough”, “not good enough” comes to the ugly surface.  Maybe this is a guy thing more so than for a woman to actually understand.
And then abruptly I need to remind myself and realize that I can’t change what’s past.  I can’t take away what I did or didn’t do, did to people, someone I love or how I chose to act or react in a given moment of “past time”.
So what now?  Do I continue making myself wrong or do I find that space of my own radical self-awareness and conscious self-love and simply acknowledge my actions and doings and choices and analyze them against my values rather than letting everyone else tell me what’s right and wrong.  Because we tend to do just that, maybe it’s just me who does it.  But I do know that we all do it to each other.  Offer self help to others while we are ourselves stamping around in the deepest of sh*t.  And if this is only my story then I ask for forgiveness that you have to listen to my story here then.
So back to the point of this.  We start looking at every, oh so miniscule action we found wrong and we forget to be grateful for the things we have and had.  We forget to acknowledge the people around us and the people who have moved us, supported us and we may even have done injustice to and inflicted great pain.   Sometimes we can ask them for forgiveness and sometimes we have lost the privilege and the honor to do so.  Maybe just for now or maybe for good.  We may not know for today.  But we need to find peace and strength in moving to a place of truth and grace.  A place of understanding of self and if anything, make the new years resolution one of self-trust, belief, integrity and strength.
Not too long ago I was reading a book of dear friend and mentor of mine and the title of his brand new book is “The Moment”.   And as I write this it becomes clearer to me that this is what it’s all about.  The mundane, the now, the today and the recognition and acknowledgement of the beauty of many moments put together.  And as I said before and keep reminding myself – we can’t change whom we hurt and what we did and how we did it.  But we can understand and fundamentally address the WHY we did it.
And that my friends is what MY New Years Resolution is be going into 2016.  A better, more solid and full understanding of MY WHY – why I do and did things and in a catalytic, self aware manner change the way I do things and address the core of it.
Because in the end you are not just really hurting the people around you.  You start ripping your own wounds open over and over again and until you get over all your own stuff and your own pain you will just continue to spill your own sh*t all over everyone around you.  Trust me.  I know.
So go deep, go big – inside, collect your precious moments and appreciate them, make them the catalyst to stop running from yourself and your own core.  Stop building your story and a CV.    Allow people to know who you are, what you stand for and make them see you.  Your truth, your values and authenticity – real.  And stop thinking the grass is greener on the other side.  Stop the chase. Life IS pure beauty.  Be grateful and appreciate all those moments. Appreciate yourself. And when you get there, hopefully soon enough, life will be momentously beautiful and the presence will be truly a present rather than a passing moment you don’t see and are unable to acknowledge.  So go out of 2015 with a bash into a beautiful and momentous 2016.
Find curiosity and wonder about yourself, find forgiveness, and find the strength to live with your past but commit to the future with integrity, grounding values, wonder and curiosity.  Show humanity to yourself.  I will.
Lots of love to all of you and a very happy New Year 2016!

About The Author

Stephan Thieringer